The Nigel Slater incident,

A few moments ago I popped upstairs and found this note pushed under Honor's bedroom door. (She often leaves notes for me). This one, in particular, made me smile. There is a bit of a story behind this message. For a while Hubby and I have found our darling daughter's behaviour frustrating. She is nearly nine years old. Her attitude is a bit.... well, let's say we'd like to help her improve it! The biggest issue by far is that at school she does not learn and puts in the minimum amount of effort. What are we supposed to do? We can't go to school with her and make her do it so it must be the school's fault, right? Well, I recently came across a book called 'Have a new kid by Friday' by Kevin Leman. I think somebody on the Faith and Family forum recommended it. I googled the guy and watched some clips of him on youtube. He is very entertaining and talks common sense. So I bought the book. I have read many parenting books. I'm a trained teacher, for goodness sake. So I though I knew what I was doing! But, actually I was already realising that I've made mistakes in the way I've handled my first-born's behaviour. I've been honest with myself and acknowledged that while I thought I was being an authoritative parent, I have actually been passive. Oh, woe.

Now things are changing around here. HM has committed some serious crimes this week: not getting her homework done, backchatting and... dah, dah, dahhhhhh... left her clothes on the floor when she got changed for Brownies tonight. So. When she got home at 7.30pm, she said "hi Mum, are we going to watch Nigel Slater?" My reply was, "I was hoping to watch it with you but unfortunately you left your room in a mess and now you have to go and sort it out and get ready for bed". Then there were tears, and "it's not fair!" .

A while a go I'd probably have said "well go and clear up quickly and you'll be able to catch it". But no! Not now. There's no discussion. No second chances.

It's sad for me too. I wanted to cuddle up with her and watch it. What a shame. But it has to be done. (And anyway, it wasn't even on in the end - they put an extra episode of Eastenders on instead, but she doesn't know that.) But then there is the note: Dear Mummy, I know you are right about the tidy bedroom, Nigel Slater thing! Please can you say goodnight (on note) and leave something (NICE) to eat. HM xx.

So. She's getting it and I'm not the bad guy...but she's still trying it on. See what I'm up against?

We are watching Masterchef right now. Hubby is talking at the tv like a real pro! Well, I suppose he is, really!

This afternoon I had to take Henry to the hospital for his appointment with the orthoptist. The history behind this is... I have a lazy, left eye. So has my grandad and uncle. My problem wasn't spotted until I was about 6 years old, during a routine eye test for children. I noticed, when Henry was a baby, that his left eye had a slight turn inwards. I mentioned this, and my family history to the health visitor and we were quickly referred to the orthoptist where my suspicions were confirmed. So Henry has been wearing glasses since he was just 18 months old! Yes. It has been quite a job getting such a young child to wear glasses. At least, it was in the beginning, though I suppose in more recent years it has been easier because he is used to them. The worst times were when he had his tantums and would fling his glasses across the room or just pull them so hard, snarling, until they snapped. Fortunately, the glasses came with a year's guarantee so they usually got replaced or fixed without too much extra expense. Now, Henry doesn't have the temper tantrums so often and if he is about to blow his stack, I quickly remove them! But, I think he is getting better at managing his temper (he hasn't broken anything, this way, for ages). And, today, the orthoptist announced that his vision has improved so much that it is likely he will be discharged after our next appointment in October. He will still have to wear glasses for a while but, it seems, our efforts, and catching it early, has paid off.

And so to bed... (sigh!)

Awwwwww. Hope looks really cute in this leopard top. (Thanks, Auntie Vicky!) Henry is playing with her. She loves the lion puppet he is holding. She doesn't talk much yet, alittle bit of babbling, but seems to prefer to make lion noises!

This picture was taken after school. I always give them a little snack when they get in as it seems to help keep moods stable! After this we all went off to Mothercare to get Hope a cotbed as she is outgrowing her Ambynest (baby hammock). It will be such a shame to see it go -it's lovely. Hubby's colleagues gave us some Mothercare vouchers when the little one was born so they pretty much covered the cost of a nice, white, wooden cotbed. We have decided to keep her in our room for the time being and get a nice comfortable futon sofa bed for downstairs if we need to sleep away from distraction.

This picture was taken after tea. I made chicken soup again as I have a cold starting. Henry and HM are ready for bed in their pyjamas, reading the Argos catalogue (groan) while they wait for me to prepare hot chocolate for Beatrix Potter night - it's the tale of Tom Kitten!

So here we have a little cup of instant Hot Chocolate topped with a spoonful of vanilla ice-cream, squirty cream and marshmallows and a couple of little sweeties on the side.

This might seem like a lot of fuss and bother to some but I find it's worth it. It's only on Friday night and they get ready for bed in record time.

Good grief!

That last post was interrupted by the baby crying and the other two behaving so badly that I've just sent them to bed without tea. They're not going to starve to death. They had a cooked dinner at school and a snack when they came home. Originally, I was sending them to their rooms until tea was ready but they both went crazy, yelling, crying, refusing. Honor went to throw a cushion at me then thought better of it but they both went off screaming and banging things so I told them to get into their pyjamas. That was it! Henry is beside himself. I feel sorry for them but I really think I need to see it through. I can't even say "wait 'til your father gets home". Most of the time we get by nicely with the old positive reinforcement method but it is at times like this when enough is enough and there doesn't seem to be much you can do when they stand against you like that. Never mind child abuse, what about parent abuse?